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The SeaThe Sea
It calls to me at night—the sea
Crashing waves belt out
Their peaceful song
Sandy shores along murky depths
My cold heart warms to the soothing chorus
Calming the roaring inside my soul
Forever, LoveDarkness swirls from past regrets
But new hope shines through the murky depths
as I try to muster the courage to be
The kind of woman you need me to be
My heart is raw and open
Bleeding on the floor
But with you it’s like it’s not so broken
At least until the pain restores
But love, you should know I want to
Be that kind of lady
The kind that can make it through
Your love it fills me
Restoring me and stitching
Together the tattered remains once more
Without you, love, I fear
I would not even be
Much less here
So love, my life and my love
Will be forever yours
This I swear
AvoidanceI've avoided these words for months...
Because you are not even worth the pain seared words I write...
But I am slave to my heart so I have no choice
But lay them out before you
Look at what you did to me
I hate that now my words are stuck in my chest
Lodged and hard to swallow like a sticky sweet gob of caramel
I hate that now I can't write without pain
Without remembering you
Now my lungs fill with acid at the thought of you and my
Heart burns with the need for air and I can't breathe
Can't move, can't think, can't dream
Without the reminder that you existed
And totally ripped my beautiful heart into a million pieces
"You're not worth the distance anymore"
Well you're not worth the words I am writing
The pain I am feeling.
You are not worth the tears I cried or the lies I told
You are the one who left me
Broken and bleeding and
I hate you
Hate you for what you did to me
What was once beautiful and vibrant is now broken
And ugly shattered and irreplaceable
I HATE what you made me and
LuminescenceLost in deep pools of gray blue moonlight
The wind chill reaches for me
But cannot go beyond this warmth
The light pours through the trees
Brushing my skin breathing life into
Me once again
The forest floor damp beneath me
Seeps through my socks into my bones
But yet I feel warm
The moonlight trapped within my pores
From the night before
This light fills me
Every time I think or dream
That I carry with me despite
This harsh chill
I’m not afraid of winter’s sting or
The night’s darkness reaching for me again and again
I know your light will fade soon enough
And then I’ll seek you out once again
I promise I won’t leave you alone
Your light ever glowing
Keeping my heart shining bright
Colors of ChangeAs I stand outside the dew covered window pane,
And look into a world I will never be a part of again.
I try to remember a happier time.
A time where warm hugs and mugs of hot chocolate
Would be waiting
After a cold day outside raking leaves and forming them into piles to jump in.
But that time is over.
And I am out here in the cold,
Never to feel that warmth again
Trapped among the bare trees their branches
Stripped of color and their bark hanging loose
My hand reaches for the latch that would bring me,
Closer to you,
But my fingers pass right through
And they tremble for I have forgotten.
I am nothing more than a chilly breeze on a cold autumn’s night.
Those times of warmth and joy are over,
So I lay here covered in a thin layer of frost.
And wait for the change to be over
So I too may disappear,
In hopes of seeing you one last time
I breathe onto my palm and
Touch the frost covered glass…
Shedding SkinEvery morning I watch Mommy put on her face
She tells me the world likes her this way
But every evening when no one is around
And Mommy thinks I’m safe and sound in bed
I watch her peal back
The layers she built with care
So no one would see what’s really under there
Her skin is all battered worn and thin
Her eyes sunken in her head
Hair hangs loose
Teeth stained yellow
The woman that looks back
Cannot possibly be
The mother who takes care of me
She gives a small sob
And then turns around
To see my pale little face broken with a frown
Her head hangs in shame
And I rush to her side
Saying, “Mommy you don’t have to hide”
I know those layers protects you from the pain
But with me
Here and now
You don’t have to be ashamed
You don’t need to pretend
In here were safe from the
World’s prying eyes
In here we don’t have to hide
WavesI cannot control them
When they come for me
I fear I cannot tell you why
They are a mystery
These feelings they roil, twist and churn
Until my insides there is nothing left
The ruins they leave in their wake
Are nothing compared to the ache
In my heart
Caused by so many confusing waves
That you leave behind
They tell me I can stop it
But how can I?
When you are the one to have caused this
You did this
You broke me
And I cannot help these feelings I am having
Because in the end
I am only a victim
To my own heart’s waves
MonsterIt’s ugly everyone hates it
So they hide it away and hope to
Praying it goes away
But what they don’t know is that
It sits there scheming
Up new ways to wreak havoc
New ways to hurt
Those fools didn't think the monster
Their hated eyes boring into its flesh
Searing their pain and sins into him
What they don’t know is they created him
With their greed, lies and hate
Turning him into something grotesque
It won’t matter if you lie about it because
In the end
The monster within
Know the real you
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
A note for people who need a kind wordJust a note,
For anyone who has felt,
Like they have been broken.
Just like an old toy.
Thrown and tossed around like a rag doll.
To anyone who feels,
They re tearing at their seams.
And they re losing all control.
A note to the little girl,
And waited for her mother.
Or her father.
To come back home,
To keep her safe,
While she cried.
Or to at least of said goodbye.
And wishes they d come back and tell her,
A note to the lonely boy.
So quiet and reserved.
Who sits and takes their cruel words.
Thinking it s what he deserved.
To be thrown into lockers,
And thinking he can find something better,
With the company of a razor,
Rather than a human.
Because humans have caused him more hurt,
Than the blades that pierce his skin.
A note to the beautiful girls.
Who walk for miles,
Until they have blisters on their feet.
Because they will not accept the defeat,
Of having to see numbers,
That tell them they are not worthy.
They are not pretty.
And they should not be living.
If they c
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
Seeking SolaceSeeking Solace
It is peace and bliss
So much so I can never ask for it
Ice and fire two opposites that I desire
I sought it out all my life
Going round and round again
Never sure which way to turn
And when I realize how alone I really I am I cannot help but
Be thankful for the silence
This never ending dance makes me wonder
Does anyone truly wish for solace?
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More